The Four Agreements

From the moment we are born, society makes us conform to its rules. In the process, We become a copy of Mamma’s beliefs, Daddy’s beliefs, society’s beliefs, and religion’s beliefs. This belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our minds and hinders our true potential in achieving personal freedom. So, how do we become who we really are and how to transform our lives? This book teaches us how to break those beliefs.

🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

  1. This book is about making promises to yourself to work towards something better.
  2. A self-help book that can change the direction of your life.
  3. It provides a practical guide to personal freedom by helping us become our true selves by casting aside negative factors that keeps us from realizing our full potential.

✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

  • We are all living in a Dream. The world of illusion, the Dream, is just like smoke which doesn’t allow us to see what we really are.
  • Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes part of our belief system.
  • Every human is an artist. The dream of your life is to make beautiful art.

📒 Notes

Don Miguel reveals the source of this book that is based on ancient Toltec wisdom. Thousands of years ago, the Toltec were scientists and artists who formed a society to explore and conserve the spiritual knowledge and practices of the ancient ones. They have passed this knowledge through generations and these teachings of Toltec civilization can help us to become who we really are and transform our lives to become better.

From the moment we are born, society makes us conform to its rules. In the process, we start pretending to be what we are not because we are afraid of being rejected. We become a copy of Mamma’s beliefs, Daddy’s beliefs, society’s beliefs, and religion’s beliefs. Eventually, we become someone that we are not. The author calls this is as domestication.

The domestication is so strong that at a certain point in our lives we no longer need anyone to domesticate us and we will become auto domesticated animals. We can now domesticate ourselves according to the same belief system we were given and use the same system of punishment and reward. The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our minds.

And this is all based on a belief system that we never chose to believe. These beliefs are so strong, that even years later when we are exposed to new concepts and try to make our own decisions, we find that these beliefs still control our lives.

All these agreements that we are domesticated with will prevent us from realizing our true potential. How can you break these agreements and transform our lives to experience happiness, love, and freedom?

There are four very powerful agreements that will help us to break those agreements that come from fear and deplete our energy. You need a very strong will in order to adopt The Four Agreements— but if you can begin to live your life with these agreements, the transformation in your life will be amazing.

The 1st Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word

We manifest everything through the word. Regardless of what language we speak, how we feel and what we dream manifests through this word. The word is the most powerful that you use to communicate, to think, and to create the events in your life. But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you. That’s why you need to be careful with your words. They can either liberate you or even destroy you.

Impeccable is a Latin word that means ‘without sin’.  You should never use it against yourself or others. You can measure the impeccability of your word by your level of self-love. How much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word.

When you are impeccable with your word, you feel good; you feel happy and at peace. Impeccability of the word can lead you to personal freedom, to huge success, and abundance; it can take away all fear and transform it into joy and love.

The 2nd Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally

Personal importance, or taking things personally, is a state in which people believe that everything is about them.

Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own minds; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.

Don’t take it personally. Whatever you think, whatever you feel, I know is your problem and not my problem. It is the way you see the world. It is nothing personal because you are dealing with yourself, not with me. Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system, so nothing they think about me is really about me, but it is about them.

There is no way that I can take this personally. Not because I don’t believe in you or don’t trust you, but because I know that you see the world with different eyes, with your eyes.

Your point of view is something personal to you. It is no one’s truth but yours. Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personally. Don’t take anything personally because by taking things personally you set yourself up to suffer for nothing.

If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn’t walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.

You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for yourself. When you truly understand this and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.

The 3rd Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions

The third agreement is don’t make assumptions. We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. If we don’t understand something, we make our own assumptions around it and form a belief. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking

We only see what we want to see, and hear what we want to hear. We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. We have the habit of dreaming with no basis in reality.

The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. Make sure the communication is clear. If you don’t understand, ask. Have the courage to ask questions until you are clear as you can be, and even then, do not assume you know all there is to know about a given situation. Once you hear the answer, you will not have to make assumptions because you will know the truth.

If you don’t understand something, it is better for you to ask and be clear, instead of making an assumption. The day you stop making assumptions you will communicate cleanly and clearly, free of emotional poison. Without making assumptions your word becomes impeccable.

All human problems would be resolved if we could just have good, clear communication.

The 4th Agreement: Always Do Your Best

The fourth agreement is about the action of the first three: Always do your best. Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But you need to remember that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Your best will depend on whether you are feeling wonderful and happy, or upset, angry, or jealous.

You may fail most of the time but you can try again and again. Try to do your best again and again and you can become the master of transformation. Everything you do or learn, you master through repetition

Do not be concerned about the future; keep your attention on today, and stay in the present moment. Just live one day at a time.

Today is the beginning of a new dream.

When you honour these four agreements together, there is no way that you will live in hell. If you are impeccable with your word, if you don’t take anything personally, if you don’t make assumptions, if you always do your best, then you are going to have a beautiful life. You are going to control your life one hundred percent.

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